Genre: Self-help
Approximate word count: 4-6,000 words
Availability
Kindle US: YES UK: YES Nook: YES Smashwords: NO Paper: NO
Click on a YES above to go to appropriate page in Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Smashwords store
Author:
No bio available.
Description:
I’ll cherry pick a few lines from the blurb on Amazon.
“If you are interested in having a wife or girlfriend who is submissive and obedient (no matter how stubborn or disobedient she is now) then the brand new book will show you how.”
“The kind of obedience that has her WANTING to follow your lead, please you, and help you achieve your goals as your ‘helpmate’ -- without any of the nagging, whining, sexual blackmail or usual female ‘drama queen’ nonsense.”
“This ain't for the "politically correct."
“This book is not about being a jerk.”
Appraisal:
A friend loaned me this “book” and asked me to review it for my blog. I agreed because I thought it was a prime example of both the good and the bad of the e-book and self-publishing revolution.
In the comments section of one of my other reviews an anonymous poster said, “The best thing about self-publishing is that anyone can do it. The worst thing about self-publishing is that anyone can do it.” Strictly speaking, this book doesn’t appear to be self-published. It indicates it is published by “MakeRight Publishing,” which, based on searches of Amazon and Google, is a service that will format an author’s manuscript for the Kindle and Nook and publish it to various sites for a small fee. Semantics aside, not much different from self-publishing. The comment is still pertinent.
Books like this have always existed although, given the length, it would be more accurate to call the paper equivalent a pamphlet. Pre-internet you’d find this kind of thing for sale in the back of certain magazines. The venue has changed and possibly made those books more visible. This visibility might make them easier to sell, but also makes people aware of their existence. I’m all for letting any theory have voice. Saying so might brand me as too politically correct for the author, but I’m confident that the spotlight of high visibility will kill a bad idea much more quickly than if they are only voiced in dark little corners.
After reading what Belasco has to say I can’t help wondering, was he born too late? He seems to believe that women are second-class citizens, and that a marriage (or any relationship) should be a dictatorship rather than a partnership. This might have worked a hundred or even fifty years ago. For economic reasons it might have made sense for a woman to accept this then, but not anymore. I’m sure it works now with certain women, although no woman I’d be interested in.
On the surface, some of the author’s suggestions make sense. For example, one of the rules he proposes is to, “never reward bad behavior.” That makes sense until you realize that to this author, bad behavior means whatever the man wants at the moment when he wants it. For example, if he’s in the mood for sex and she isn’t, it is “sexual blackmail” and thus unacceptable bad behavior. The next rule, “Never say you’re sorry,” is because to do so would reward bad behavior. He explains, “If you really DO screw up, fine, repent away. But even then, I do not recommend saying you’re sorry, and instead just saying something like I goofed, I shouldn’t have done that, or the infamous mistakes were made.” This strikes me as contradicting his earlier encouragement to “be a leader.” Do half-assed apologies when “mistakes were made” increase confidence in your leader or make them seem weak and not worthy of your respect?
Another complaint I have is that the reader is supposed to believe a statement is true merely because the author says it, with no logical or expert backup. For example, he says some people think that, “If a man wants his wife to be more responsive physically, he should pick up and help keep the place clean.” He calls this ridiculous and says it “does not hold up to reality or logic.” Yet his response boils down to his opinion that it isn’t true. Experts who say otherwise are wrong because “most of the information for the past 30+ years about dealing with women has been doled out by … women.” I love a good conspiracy theory, but I’m not buying this one.
Just as with anything good, taken too far, good can become bad. This goes for political correctness at its most extreme, but not for most instances of political correctness. Earlier today, I saw an internet forum post that struck me as saying exactly what I wanted to say. The poster, who uses the handle ginmar, said many people talk about political correctness as if it is “some huge new form of cultural cowardice. It’s not. It’s what your mom called being polite – and not being a bully.” Just as slaves were freed many years ago, women are now in a position to choose not to stay with a jerk.
Protestations aside, yes, this book is about being a jerk.
Format/Typo Issues:
Relative to its size, this book has too many typos. (Roughly the same number I would find acceptable in a novel ten or more times as long.)
Rating: * 1 star
24 comments:
maybe it's a satirical parody? Like A Modest Proposal?
I realize it probably isn't, but . . . . it could be despite itself. Just like watching a bad movie for its badness.
RJ, while I'm sure it wasn't done as satire or parody, I suppose something could be said for reading it as an example of how not to act. Of course that would mean a profit, although small, for the author. That doesn't sound so good.
Unfortunately, there's thousands of idiots just like Belasco running amok in the world. Some of his "arguments" remind me of MrPleasantPreacher from YouTube (who's under some other name now---he always gets flagged and then re-joins YouTube under some other guise). Anyway, his views came from an extremely conservative fringe-Baptist standpoint, but he too believed women should be the ever-smiling servants of the home and do whatever the husband pleases. He also went a bit further, saying that all women's rights advances should be taken away, and that all homosexuals should be sent to California, with a high wall built around the entire state. It would be funny if he weren't dead serious about it.
Anyway, my point is there's many more where this f***tard author came from, and sometimes it's impossible to tell the difference between the real deal and a parody.
Have you read the comments on Amazon? Good grief!
I am getting a good chuckle out of this review. I am, of course, loving your take on it.
When I saw that book posted somewhere, I had to check the calendar to make sure I was in the right century.
Wow, that is honestly the most horrible sounding book I've heard about in a long time. That's ... wow. It's baffling that someone in the 21st century would write something like this. Jeez.
I know, Corey. Hard to believe.
The title was enough for me...
"this book has too many typos"
I'm not surprised. Let's face it... the subject matter already indicates that this fella was never going to be the sharpest tool in the box.
Let's take comfort in the fact that in reality, it's pretty unlikely he's ever got beyond first base with a woman, let alone found one who'd marry him.
Can't argue about not being the sharpest tool in the box, Joanne. But he claims this "saved his marriage."
I think he has an imaginary wife. You know, like an imaginary friend that a kid would have. Only more creepily subservient.
He's clearly living in a wholly imaginary world! You know, I almost envy his blind assurance that he's always right in every way. Wouldn't it be so much easier than sharing the planet with real human beings and having to take their wishes into account?
Joanne, I like your imaginary friend theory. I've had experience with them. One of my sisters had a couple. They were terrors. You wouldn't believe the things they did. More subversive than subservient. My oldest granddaughter has one too. :)
I agree, Bev. Your comment could apply to a lot of other areas too. Politics comes to mind.
Like Vicki said, the title alone made me cringe.
I also totally agree with you regarding publicizing of a bad idea; nothing kills it quicker.
I find it horrifying that people like this exist.
"I find it horrifying that people like this exist." Battered women's shelters immediately came to my mind upon reading this review.
@Joansz: While he definitely didn't suggest physical abuse to force "obedience," some of the attitudes sure seemed like what you'd see from someone who would.
However, some of his suggestions *might* cross the line to emotional abuse and, even if his exact instructions don't, I would expect someone following those suggestions easily could cross that line.
What bothers me the most about this book's subject matter is the damage this kind of behavior does to the human spirit. Any human being using manipulation and subjugation to dominate another human being is a malevolent abuser. And any person forced into obedience will eventually suffer self-esteem issues, depression, suppressed anger, and/or a myriad of other mental torments.
I truly empathize with the wife of the author of this book, and I also worry that there may be other victims—the children growing up under the tutelage of this controlling tyrant. Male children learn how to treat women from the way their fathers treat their mothers. Female children learn what love means by watching their parents interact. This type of Machiavellian, spirit-breaking behavior is sadly self-perpetuating.
Well put, Donna.
This book got me thinking about my own parents. Had I asked, both my Mother and Father would have (and at times did) claim that Dad was the boss. They had religious beliefs that reinforced that. Yet, when I evaluate how their marriage really worked, it wasn't a dictatorship, but a partnership based on mutual respect. Who was the "figurehead" was immaterial and it was nothing like what this guy suggests. I thank the FSM for that.
I am SO glag you wrote this! I never knew this book existed. I bought it immediately on Amazon and loved it!!! I am not making this up. PLEASE do more reviews of books you hate, it helps!
Actually, there is room to study the issues at play.
Cult leaders control their followers with positive and negative reenforcement, and we just scratch our heads and wonder how they do it.
Maybe a follow up review is in order. Can anyone out their reccommend a book on 'Jim Jones' type behavior? You can't fight this sort of thing unless you understand it, and you usually don't appreciate the problem unless it touches a member of your family.
This sounds like the work of someone who's bitter about a past failed relationship, and he's decided it must be the woman's fault.
As for him actually having a happy wife? I agree with Joanne - must be imaginary. Or someone who's had subservience ingrained in her.
And to think that all I was doing was researching, 'In An Instant' wrinkle serum, which probably doesn't work anyway since all of the young models advertising it were just that - young models, and I came across this book! I was totally blown apart just reading the title. In fact, I was in bed when the serum infomercial came on. I had my iPad and immediately had to sit up to have another look at the title to make certain I was reading it correctly - oh my! The only thing I want to know now is what he allegedly 'did in the restaurant' to get 'his way in public'?! All I can imagine is that he tried to embarrass his wife/girlfriend. UGH!! An earlier comment here by 'Beth' introduced me to a great word for the author, "f**ktard"! Beth, you made this old gal laugh out loud!
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