1.
People pretend even with the ones they love
We all
want to be the best versions of ourselves, but sometimes we rush
those versions too fast and end up faking things we can’t pull off.
Is he really a world-famous surfer? Is his uncle really That One Guy
from That One Show? Is his love real, or is this all some long con?
If our gut is trying to tell us something, we should listen. Ain’t
nobody got time for fakery.
2.
Your comfort zone isn’t always your friend
Sometimes
in a failed relationship, no one sacrifices. Sometimes we’re both
too afraid to step in a new direction, even for someone we care
about. And sometimes it’s not him, it’s you. If you have hard
borders on some part of your life, maybe it’s time to take a good
look at why. Then you’ll know whether it’s worth taking the risk
of something new when the next guy comes along.
3.
Sacrifice is not the same as compromise
We’ve
all done it: sacrificed something we loved for someone we loved. We
spent an entire week at Christmas with his uptight, overly
conservative family. We got the implants he insisted we needed to be
the girl he wanted. We didn’t take that dream job because he got
Jealous Face every time we talked about working in the city. But
compromises are two-way streets, where we work with someone who’s
willing to work with us. Where discussion takes the place of demand.
And we know now which we want.
4. You
can’t make people love you the way you want them to
Wishing
and hoping can’t change another person’s heart or mind. For the
most part, we’re all pretty set in our ways by the time we survive
our teen years, and that includes the way we see love. Dragging a man
to the Renaissance Faire won’t make him more romantic, and no star
in the sky will make our cubicle-farm workplace-romance stalker less
creepy.
5.
Don’t rush into family connections
It’s
complicated enough dealing with a new relationship. But what if his
sister goes into business with our brother? Or his divorced mom
starts batting her false eyelashes at our perma-bachelor uncle? The
more ties between our families, the messier it gets when our
relationship breaks up. We’ll keep seeing him here and there, and
it’s just awkward for everyone involved. Lesson learned!
6.
Life has worse disasters than a breakup
Breakups
hurt. Sometimes they hurt for a very long time. But there are worse
things. Breakups don’t give you a sudden food allergy to your
favorite mochaccino. They don’t run over your cat on a foggy
morning just as you’re leaving for a job interview. They don’t
fire you for being one minute late. They don’t drop your elevator
thirty floors and then strand you inside all weekend. You hurt. But
you could be hurting a lot worse. Perspective is good.
7. The
best thing for you can be letting go
Remember
how miserable you were during your last sucky relationship? And how
much better you felt once you were free of it? Like unhooking that
too-tight bra at the end of the day and throwing on a silk cami. Or
nothing at all. You were free to be yourself, and free to find a
better match. And so was he. Don’t prolong what isn’t working;
you’re only keeping both of you from finding a more comfy match.
8. You
don’t have to hate them
We’re
supposed to hate our exes, right? Isn’t that a rule? Not always.
Sometimes we need to part ways with a genuinely decent person, or
someone who taught us a valuable lesson or skill that made our lives
easier. That’s worthy of gratitude, even if we keep it to
ourselves.
9. No
one is The One
You’ve
broken up. It’s done. He wasn’t The One. But if he wasn’t a
perfect match, then you weren’t either. And that’s okay.
Someone
who isn’t there when you need them to be really lets you down. But
he also gives you the opportunity to find out how strong you are on
your own. You can do more than you think. Because you’re strong
enough on your own power.
Get your copy of Turn Me, Cabrina's latest book, from Amazon US, Amazon UK, or Barnes & Noble.
No comments:
Post a Comment