Reprise Review: The Sparrow Conundrum by Bill Kirton

Reviewed by: BigAl 

Genre: Crime/Satire 

Author: 

A former university lecturer, Bill Kirton was born in England and has lived most of his life in Scotland. He has written everything you could imagine, from academic essays and dissertations to songs and plays. He has several more short stories and novels available for your favorite eReader. Until recently, you could find Kirton blogging, but can now find out all about him on his new website. 

Description: 

“Machin’s garden explodes, igniting a power struggle over lucrative North Sea oil and gas contracts. The Sparrow takes flight amidst chaos and violence that are the least of the strange goings-on. 

1st Place, Humor, 2011 Forward National Literature Awards.”

Appraisal: 

I saw this described as a “crime spoof,” which is a perfect description. It is full of humor, often dry and subtle, as the stereotype of English humor would indicate. I learned the names of obscure (to me) birds and fish, which are used as codenames amongst the criminals; thankfully, my Kindle dictionary knew them all. Many of the criminals, especially the protagonist Chris Machin, are likeable and sympathetic (with the exception of those crimes they’re supposed to be committing). In contrast, the police are anything but, not to mention much better at crime than the criminals. 

Beyond the story, I enjoyed the way Kirton strings words together. For example, I love this line, for how it twists the cliché into something clever, rather than overused: 

“Hawk would undoubtedly have been more suspicious, but he was desperate for a gift horse and its mouth was invisible at the other end of a telephone line.” 

Kirton won the 2011 Forward National Literature Award in the humor category for this book, and the reason is apparent.

Buy Now From:     Amazon US   Amazon UK     Also Available in Paperback  
FYI: 

Uses UK spelling conventions and slang (possibly Scottish too, but I’m no expert). 

Some adult language. While there is very little that is explicit, sexual themes and innuendo are constant. If the thought of anything sexual makes you blush, especially if it involves obscure kinks and fetishes (anything beyond a man, a woman, and a bed), this isn’t the book for you. 

Format/Typo Issues: 

No significant issues. 

Rating: ***** Five stars

Approximate word count: 65-70,000 words 

A Warm Place to Call Home (a demon's story) / Michael Siemsen

Reviewed by: ?wazithinkin

Genre: Contemporary/ Supernatural/ Adult Satire/ Relationships

Approximate word count: 70-75,000 words

Availability    

Kindle  US: YES  UK: YES  Nook: NO  Smashwords: NO  Paper: YES

Click on a YES above to go to appropriate page in Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Smashwords store

Author:

“Michael Siemsen lives in Northern California with his wife, three kids, dog Brody, cat Atom, four fish, one demon, and two chupacabrii.

Seriously though he is “the second son of a Vietnam veteran turned policeman. Initially focusing on performing arts, Michael attended the prestigious Alexander Hamilton Academy in Los Angeles. After serving in the U.S. Army as a tracked vehicle operator, he returned to civilian life and began writing short stories and screenplays, and directing short films and music videos.”

Mr. Siemsen's other published work include the Matt Turner Series and a sequel to A Warm Place to Call Home titled The Many Lives of Samuel Beauchamp (a demon's story). To learn more about him check out his website or you can stalk him on Facebook. :D

Description:

“Frederick is a demon. Born in Maryland in the early 1980's, he hasn't a clue where he came from or why, but feels an irresistible desire to occupy a human body. Once inside, he finds the previous occupants' consciousness and memories forever erased, an inevitable side effect that gives Frederick pause when switching bodies, but not so much as to truly halt his ongoing enjoyment of human lives. In various bodies, he travels the world for decades--aimless--sampling cultures and experiencing life from the points of view of males, females, young, old, rich, poor.

Now, Frederick has an urge to return to his roots in America, explore the mystery of his origin, find someone to love, and settle down for a while. In his hometown, his mission bears fruit much faster than he expected, as person after person presents themselves, and following his impulses, he is lead directly to love, tragedy, answers, and the humanity he never knew he wanted.”

Appraisal:

Fredrick is a body hopping demon and he has decided it is time for him to find a nice body to call home where he can develop a relationship and start a family. What better place to start looking than the memories of where he began? 

I was immediately drawn to Fredrick's voice from the very beginning of this story. He was cavalier and had a sarcastic wit about him, but was likeable for a demon. He had some decent qualities, but saw no sense in cultivating them because he was a demon after all. Or at least Fredrick assumed he was a demon, but was actually unsure about what he was exactly.

Obviously we were being told this story through Fredrick's eyes. The characters were cleverly developed and realistic. The plot is well paced as we learned Fredrick was not truly evil, he's impulsive and egocentric but rather benign. He chose Joseph Cling because he was a handsome man and Melanie liked him and Fredrick decided he wanted Melanie. However, he was too anxious to be with Melanie to properly watch and get to know Joseph first.  Escapades ensue as Fred/Joe stumbles through trying to be Joseph in his day job. Feeling at home in Joseph's body he made a conscientious effort to be everything Melanie wanted him to be.

To complicate matters, Joseph's identical twin brother, James, thinks he knows what has happened with Joseph and tries to convince Fredrick to leave Joseph's body. Fredrick is convinced that James doesn't have a clue and is making wild claims. Nonetheless trouble really hits the fan when jealousy rears its ugly head and Fred/Joe loses all sense of reality in a jealous rage over one of Melanie's past relationships. Mr. Siemsen weaves a complicated tale of the concept between good, evil, and purity as they become shades of gray and far too human and frustrating when self-doubt creeps in. When is altruism self-serving and when is it a selfless act? Philosophical questions are explored in a unique and thoughtful way.

FYI:

This book contains explicit language and adult sexual content.

Format/Typo Issues:

I found no significant editing errors.

Rating: ***** Five stars

In the Footsteps of Harrison Dextrose / Nick Griffiths

Reviewed by: BigAl

Genre: Satire

Approximate word count: 85-90,000 words

Availability
Kindle US: YES UK: YES Nook: NO Smashwords: NO Paper: NO
Click on a YES above to go to appropriate page in Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Smashwords store

Author:

Dr. Who fan Nick Griffiths largely supports himself as a journalist. Griffiths has written for many magazines and newspapers in the UK. He has several books available, including two inspired by his love of Dr. Who and the sequel to this book, Looking for Mrs. Dextrose. For more, visit the author’s website.

Description:

This is the story of Alexander Grey, who, after a less than thrilling childhood, turns into a not-very-motivated young adult. This changes when the object of his teenage lust, Suzy Goodenough, promises fulfillment of his fantasies. The catch is that he first must repeat the trip made in his favorite book, Harrison Dextroxe’s The Lost Incompetent: A Bible for the Inept Traveller, and do this in less time than it took to complete Dextrose’s original journey.

Appraisal:

In the Footsteps of Harrison Dextrose reminds me of William Goldman’s classic The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern’s Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure. This comparison might seem tenuous, especially for anyone only familiar with the movie. Both contain portions of an imaginary book interspersed with contemporary tales from the narrator. Each has a story that is larger-than-life, at least in the eyes of the narrator when imagining the main character of the make-believe book. Last, both have a sense of humor. Newsweek described The Princess Bride as “nutball funny.” The same goes for Harrison Dextrose.

Taken too far, my comparison falls apart. The Princess Bride is fantasy. Harrison Dextrose isn’t, although it does largely happen in countries and among cultures that don’t actually exist. Maybe it could be called fanciful instead. Although Harrison Dextrose’s original trip was purported to have happened in the 1970s and Alexander’s ten years later, both feel as though they are happening much earlier and satirize accounts of explorers from long ago.

The humor is sometimes subtle; what would you make of a boat named the “Unsmoked Haddock” or someone who counted the bullets from a machine gun? There are sly pop cultural references- for example, a dwarf who expects Alexander to know the next line in a quote from The Blues Brothers movie or describing a ship as “held together by barnacles; if they joined a barnacle cult and committed mass suicide, we’d be left clinging to planks.”

Overall, I found In the Footsteps of Harrison Dextrose a fun and entertaining read. The mix of action-adventure and “nutball” humor might not be for everyone, but I enjoyed it.

FYI:

The author is from the UK and uses UK spelling and a ton (or maybe I should say tonne) of UK slang.

Despite using the word mink as the stand-in for many words, those easily offended by language should consider yourselves warned. (Given that Griffiths’ website has a Q&A where he answers that his favorite word is fuck, I would say he was very restrained in his book, although you’ll still find that word many times. I agree with his explanation- it is a very versatile word.)

Format/Typo Issues:

No significant issues.

Rating: **** Four stars

Cold! Steel! Justice! / Alexander O’Hara

Reviewed by: BigAl

Genre: Comic Crime/Satire/Parody

Approximate word count: 60-65,000 words

Availability
Kindle US: YES UK: YES Nook: YES Smashwords: YES Paper: NO
Click on a YES above to go to appropriate page in Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Smashwords store

Author:

Alexander O’Hara is the pen name of Irish journalist, author, and playwright Darragh McManus. He has two other novels available – GAA Confidential, as Darragh McManus, and Terminating Hollywood using his O’Hara pen name.

Description:

Kicked off the Dice City Police Force for being too violent, Christian Beretta teams up with his old partner to keep the evil Irish Mayor from taking over the city’s illegal drug trade.

Appraisal:

When I think of comic crime novels, I immediately think of Donald Westlake’s Dortmunder series, which have entertained me for years. If you’re the same, don’t expect Cold! Steel! Justice! to meet that expectation. O’Hara describes it on Amazon this way:

Like all the great straight-to-video cop movies you remember from the 1980s, it's packed with suspense, violence, incident, smart quips, daring deeds, racial stereotypes, gratuitous nudity, men wearing bandanas in flagrant contravention of all rules of taste, and at least one scene where a Mexican druglord is incinerated in his own car. As convention dictates.

Great literature it isn’t, any more than the movies it parodies are examples of great filmmaking. But it is great at what O’Hara intended it to be. I laughed and shook my head at Christian Beretta’s antics, just like with those 1980s cop movies. O’Hara’s twisted descriptions were spot-on, and laugh inducing as well, such as when he described someone as, “feeling as low as a dachshund spelunker suffering from depression” or “feeling like the biggest jerk this side of Lindsay Lohan’s dad.” If you’re in the mood for a read that is neither politically correct nor serious, and feel the need to cut loose with a few guffaws, Cold! Steel! Justice! is the book you’re looking for.

FYI:

This book contains language and sexual situations that might not be considered appropriate for younger readers. The book uses some UK spelling and slang.

Format/Typo Issues:

No significant issues.

Rating: ***** Five stars

No Lady and Her Tramp / Kristie Leigh Maguire and Mark Haeuser

Genre: Adult Satire

Approximate word count: 70-75,000

Availability Kindle: YES      Nook: YES        DTB: NO

Author:
Romance author Kristie Leigh Maguire prides herself on doing it her way. This includes writing her own books when she found English reading material too hard to find while living overseas. Although a product of the Southern US, Maguire has lived all over the world in places such as Thailand, Aruba, Saudi Arabia, and Japan. For more see Kristie Leigh Maguire's web site.

Co-writer Mark Haeuser grew up in South Western Wisconsin along the Mississippi River. His other books are in the fantasy, western, and action/adventure genres. For more see Mark Haeuser's web site.

Description:

There are strange goings-on inside the trailers at President Park in Grapevine, KY. This satirical look at small town life is really two intertwined stories. The main story is the gossip, backbiting, and general misbehaving going on in this lowbrow, redneck Peyton Place. The other is the story of Grapevine's soon-to-be bestselling author as she writes the story of the world's greatest lover. The last spices the story up while the entire book tickles your funny bone.

Appraisal:

This book is satire. It's supposed to be slightly over the top like a caricature. It isn't the book for those who think anything beyond a kiss is too much sex or that sex is too serious to laugh at. It's not for someone from a small town who feels they're inferior because of it. But for those with the ability to recognize their own foibles and still laugh. For those who can see the humor in the human condition with all its warts exposed. This is the book for you.

FYI:

If you’re easily offended by sex in a book this is not for you. It doesn’t reach the level of erotica – it’s more comparable to some of the more explicit bestselling authors.

Format/Typo Issues:

No Significant issues

Rating: **** Four Stars