Reviewed by: Keith Nixon
Genre: Humour
Approximate word count: 25-30,000 words
Availability
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on a YES above to go to appropriate page in Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or
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Author:
Unfortunately
I couldn’t source any information on the author.
Description:
It’s 1941
and the second world war is underway. Enter James Byrne, America’s greatest
hero, known best to the world at large as Jimmy FireNipples, who fights the
Nazi’s with fire that erupts from his breasts…
Appraisal:
Erm,
I’m still not sure what to make of this story, it’s an odd one. James, later
Jimmy, discovers his powers in his teens. One day at school his previously
normal nipples begin to erupt with fire. It subsequently transpires that there
are good and bad FireNipples – with blue and green flames – that work on the
side of good and evil (although Jimmy is a red). Many others in history have
been FireNipples, using their powers accordingly (e.g. in the US Civil War the
opposing leaders both had powers).
As
Jimmy is discovering his powers the Nazi’s are in the process of wiping out the
two FireNipples that would oppose them, although they are not aware of Jimmy’s
existence.
One
day Jimmy is recruited to join a small team with super powers being built by
Frank Buell called the Tactical Insurgency Team Squad (TITS). The trouble is
none of the others in the squad really have super powers.
After
training Jimmy is called up to the front line and fights off the Japanese at
Pearl Harbour, by now he’s learnt he can fly and shoots down the enemy with
bursts of fire from you know where (I’m a bit tired of writing nipples now).
And
so the story progresses, Jimmy gets stronger reaching higher FireNipples (look,
I’ve said it again) levels of power (imaginatively called 1, 2, 3 and 4) and
concluding in a battle with Hitler himself.
All
in all it’s potentially a bit of a silly read. It all depends how much you can
swallow the humour and suspend belief. Calling it an alternate world is a bit
strong (think the recent films like Captain America and Avengers). As well as
the very regular breast related descriptions and jokes there are quotes at the
beginning of each chapter ascribed to famous people in history, like Abraham
Lincoln and Dante.
The
descriptions and dialogue are okay, but weak, although I do believe Pallace has
the ability to write. The jokes aren’t terrible, but I can’t say I laughed out
loud at all, more a low level of amusement throughout. But eventually I found
it a bit wearing - the tongue a bit too much in cheek and the cheesiness a bit
too ripe. Maybe you won’t…
There were
a number of spelling and punctuation errors in the text. For example incase was
regularly used, comma’s were dropped or full stops used at the end of speech
lines.
FYI:
Multiple
breast and nipple references (an understatement if ever I saw one).
Format/Typo Issues:
Many
punctuation errors, some spelling mistakes.
Rating: ** 2 Stars
2 comments:
Keith, you're a better man than me for taking on a story with the premise of flame-thrower nipples! Sad to see it finally got on your tits.
Happy Christmas . . .
As always a brilliant comment Pete. Have a great Christmas my friend!
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